The Cunning Whisk

One of our best friends is home from Iraq and I wanted to make a cake for him. When asked what flavor he wanted, his response was “vanilla.” Nothing puts me out more than a request for vanilla. It’s just so…. Boooooring. See, I can’t even get up enough enthusiasm about vanilla to put an exclamation point behind that. But, if he wants vanilla, then by God I’ll make him the best vanilla cake EVER.

I actually did this recipe twice for a total of four layers. I wanted to make a cube for decorating purposes. Even though it is a very fluffy cake, it is dense enough to take that kind of weight. I don’t know if more than enough to make a cube would have stacked, though. In my semi-professional opinion, I wouldn’t try it.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 tsp. pure Madagascar vanilla
• 1 pkg. Dream Whip topping mix
• 1 box. funfetti cake mix
• 1 c. egg whites (appx. 3 lg.)
• 1 c. cold water
• 1 vanilla pudding snack cup
• white chocolate fondant

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325F. Grease and flour two 8″ x 8″ square pans.

Dump all ingredients into a large bowl. Beat on medium-high for one minute, until no lumps remain. Continue beating on medium for another two to three minutes, until thick yet fluffy.

Divide between prepared pans and bake for 30 minutes. Cool thoroughly. Thickly fill and crumb coat layers. Decorate with White Chocolate Fondant.

Another fun way to use this recipe is with cupcakes. Pick out some fantastically frivolous liners, fill them about 3/4 full, pop a jumbo marshmallow down into the batter and bake for about 20 – 25 minutes. Make a white chocolate butter cream — preferably in a tie-dye of colors — and sprinkle with… Well, sprinkles. The marshmallow melts and adds a fun little surprise. Just make sure the cupcake is mostly cool before eating. Melted sugar (marshmallow) stays very hot for a while.

While still flavorful and moist, this cake is firm and hardy enough to be used in a wedding cake. Each batch is approximately 7 cups, so it can really be used for just about anything with a little math. I used this with great success last week. If properly and promptly crumb coated, it won’t dry out… Even when you start three days in advance.

Ingredients:

• 1 box Betty Crocker white cake mix
• 1 c. sour cream
• 3 lg. eggs
• 1 c. milk
• 1 Tbsp. vanilla, butter & nut flavoring
• 1 c. all-purpose flour
• 1 c. granulated sugar
• 1 dash salt
• 1 tsp. glycerin

Directions:

Whisk together the eggs and flavoring. Yes, “vanilla, butter & nut” flavoring is all in one little bottle at your local grocer. Don’t be afraid of the fluorescent tangerine coloring. In a large bowl, sift together all the dry ingredients. Beat together the wet ingredients until thoroughly incorporated. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl and mix a little bit more. You don’t want to overbeat the batter, but you want to make sure that everything is as it should be.

Yields approximately 7 cups of batter. The most convenient arrangement for a 14″-10″-6″ wedding cake is as follows:

Make sure you have enough for 5 batches of batter. Cut two circles of parchment out for each of the pans. Preheat the oven to 350F. I won’t give you times, because too many factors can change it. Just keep a watchful eye out.

Prepare one batch (1) of batter and pour the whole think into a lined, greased and floured 10″ pan. When that cooks and cools, clean out the pan and make another batch (2). Pour half the batch into a lined, greased and floured 10″ pan and the other half into the same of a 6″ pan.

While the second batch is cooking, level and torte the first batch. You should now have two layers for the middle tier. Fill, stack, clean up and crumb coat these two layers.

While the 10″ and 6″ cakes are cooling, prepare another batch (3). Line, grease and flour a 14″ pan and pour the whole batch in. During this cooking time, level and torte the 6″ cake and just level the 10″ cake. Fill, stack, clean up and crumb coat these as you did the previous layers, putting the final 10″ layer on top of the other two.

When done cooking, clean the 6″ and 14″ pans. Line, grease and flour them while making a batch (4) of cake batter. Pour all of this batch into the 14″ pan. Make another batch (5) and pour about two cups (< 1/3) into the 6″ pan and all the rest into the 14″ pan.

While these last batches are cooking, level and clean up the 14″ cake. Keep in mind, layers really need to be cool before cutting. leveling, icing or anything. When the 14″ and 6″ pans come out of the oven, allow them to cool and go do something else, like make the groom’s cake. When they are sufficiently cooled, level and torte the 14″ and level the 6″ cake. Assemble the three layers of the bottom tier by filling, cleaning and crumb coating. Add the last layer of the 6″ in the same fashion. Now, all your tiers are done and are ready to be iced and decorated how ever you wish.

With all the leveling, you’re bound to have a lot of cake scraps left over. Cut these into cubes and keep them in either a plastic wrapped bowl or a very large zip-top bag. When you have some free time (once the cake is done) whip up some custard and layer the cake with fruit and the aforementioned. Then, top with either whipped cream or meringue for a delicious parfait.